Marhofn 316.18 - May 2016

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Opportunities available for skilled proofreaders to help produce the high-profile best-seller magazine, Relative Matters. Are you dynamic, self-motivating and prepared to put several days aside in February each year and expect only admiration in return? Essential qualities:

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Chap who needs a new brain is looking at samples in jars. When he asks the price of the first one, he is told £1 million. 'That is unbelievable, why so much?' 'It was from a doctor who was very healthy and moral.'

When he asked about the one next to it, he was told it would cost £500,000. 'Really, look, it has some flaky parts, shady and bruised.' 'Well, that one is a fine specimen of a lawyer who made a decent living, only cheated on his wife, taxes and at cards.'

Finally, he spots a moth-eaten, tattered little brain about the size of a walnut sitting in a jar of alcohol and is told that it would cost £5 million. 'Why? It is the worst example and in horrible shape.' The doctor said it came from a hill-bagger and the reason it costs so much: 'Do you have any idea how many hill-baggers we had to go through before we found one with a brain?'

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